Handfasting Ritual



THE PAGAN HANDFASTING THAT PROBABLY WOULDN'T OFFEND AUNT HATTIE

suitable for adaptation, spindling, folding and mutilating to fit many 
occasions, including same gender unions.

This is written for a chapel service, but may be beautifully adapted for a grove 
or other outdoor site.  A rehearsal is essential at least for the handfasting 
and blessing of wine and cake, since it could get confusing.

Before the rite begins and the Bride is dressed, the priest (P), priestess (PS), 
bride (B), and groom (G), privately bless and charge the rings. These are then 
placed on a wand (or perhaps in a shallow bowl for two-female handfasting). A 
cord is loosely wrapped around the wand.  The rings will be carried by the
Ring-Bearer (Chris insists it should be someone named Frodo).

Mother, bride and attendants prepare in one room.  This may include a women's 
blessing of advice and good wishes. The groom and men prepare in another room 
and do likewise.

While all are preparing, and before anyone is allowed into the chapel, grove, 
etc.,  the P&PS bless salt and water, bless fire and air, join the elements, 
cast the circle.  While the guests are seated by the ushers, the P&PS quietly 
call the quarters, lighting the candles (there are great candlelabras available 
for this from wedding rental places).  P&PS return to the altar. When all are 
seated, the ring-bearer enters, hands the wand and rings to the PS.  The maidens 
and groomsmen enter, then the groom, and finally the bride (with her father, if 
she likes, alone, otherwise) [ In same gender unions, I would recommend the
couple enter together, or if their parents attend them, the eldest should enter 
first.]  When all have entered, the Warden or an usher should discretely close 
the circle portal with flowers, sealing the circle.

Begin with a prayer of invocation to the God and Goddess. If you use names, I'd 
recommend Deities appropriate to weddings (seems obvious, but...)

P&PS each hold an end of the wand with the rings.

PS:  "We are gathered in this sacred place to join this man and this woman, life 
to life and spirit to spirit."

P:     "Place your right hands over this wand and your rings, his hand over 
hers."

P:     "Is it your wish (B's name) to become one with this man?"
 (B answers)

PS:   "Is it your wish (G's name) to become one with this woman?"  
 (G answers)

P:     "If any would ask why these two should not be joined, let them stand 
before the Gods and those assembled here and speak now."

North voice:  "I would speak.  Do you have the means to support yourselves and 
to provide for your worldly needs?"

PS:   "Do you?"

Couple:  "We do."

West voice:  "I would speak.  Do you love one another?  Do you like one 
another?"

P:  "Do you?"

Couple:  "We do."

South voice:  "I would speak.  Do you have the will to argue, if you must, to 
air your problems, then stand together against adversity?"

PS:  "Do you?"

Couple:  "We do."

East voice:  "I would speak.  Do you share your thoughts and ideas, burdens and 
dreams?"

P:  "Do you?"

Couple:  "We do."    A pause follows.

PS:  "All challenges have been answered; let the rite proceed."

(This challenge is widdershins to banish all doubts and obstacles.)

P: "Do you (B's name) take (G's name) to be your husband, in the sight of the 
Gods and all here assembled?"  B: "I do."

PS:"Do you (G's name) take (B's name) to be your wife, in the sight of the Gods
and all here assembled?"   G: "I do."

P takes cord from the wand (handing it to the PS), removes the rings and gives 
each the others ring.  PS at this time may say a word about the symbolism of the 
ring and perhaps mention the ring in which the rite is taking place.

G then says his vows as he places the B's ring on her finger.

B says her vows as she places the G's ring on his finger.

(People nowdays often write their own vows, so I'll not add any here.  "With 
this ring I thee wed, to have and hold, " etc. is the old style.)

The wand is given to the G and the chalice from the altar to the B.  He blesses 
the wine. B gives G a sip of wine, takes a sip herself.  P takes the wine. B 
takes the wand, PS gives the G the cake from the altar.  The cake is blessed.  G 
gives bride a piece of cake, takes a piece himself.  (P&PS may take and receive 
wine and cake from one another also if so desired but it's not necessary.)

P:  "Place your hands again upon the wand."

P: using the cord, the P binds the hands very loosely, "As your hands are bound 
together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of joy, love, 
trust, and mutual support."

PS:  "As the Goddess and the God and those within this circle are witness to 
this rite, I now proclaim you are husband and wife, thus are your hands fasted, 
two are now made one."

P:  "You may seal your union with a kiss."

(P &PS may kiss the B&G, also, if everybody likes.)  The P&PS may present the 
couple to those gathered, as is sometimes done.

Usher opens portal, B&G process out, followed by attendants who may accompany 
parents and other honored guests.  After all have left, P&PS thank the Gods, 
release the quarters, open the circle.

Feasting should follow, photographs should be taken, the broom jumped, rice 
should be thrown, and everybody should have a wonderful time.

She Wolf.