HANDFASTING CEREMONY


This ceremony was held on Summer Solstice 1994. We have kept the tradition of
renewing our vows on our anniversary, privately, making our vows what they need
to be in the coming year. We discuss how the last year has been, if our 
relationship is what we want it to be, and how it should be changed or what we 
need to work on. We also talk about what we like about the relationship. 
Basically we use the time to slow down and make sure our relationship is okay.

We asked family and friends to bring a flower each with which to decorate the 
altar. We felt this allowed people who wouldn't be participating in the ceremony 
to be involved more directly, even though they would mostly be watching. The 
priestess officiating also started off with a short explanation of handfasting. 
She explained the symbolism of the cord and jumping the broom, that we would be 
casting a circle to set apart sacred space, that we would be calling on a 
Goddess and God and the sacred elements of earth, air, water and fire. Today I 
would include center, as I have taken up Reclaiming Tradition, but that's 
another story. :)

Priestess:  (Cast the circle, called the elements, and invoked the Goddess and 
God. This was brief, partly because we wanted it that way and partly so as not 
to confuse or bore the many non-Pagan attendees. My daughter helped cast the 
circle by sprinkling rose petals around the circle.)

Today we are gathered to witness two lovers who seek the bond of marriage: Groom 
and Bride, come forward to stand before us and the Gods of Nature.

(We step forward with our attendants: Groom with his sister and best friend, and 
me with my sister and best friend) 

Priestess: 
Above you is the sky,
below you the earth.
Like the sky, let your love be free,
and full of movement and change.
Like the earth, let your love be solid, firm and nourishing.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
Even in anger, remember your love and your commitment to each other.
Make love often and be passionate with one another.
Walk the path of life together,
but if ever you part, remember
that the bond of friendship is the strongest between you.
Groom, have you come here to join with this woman?

Groom: I have.

Priestess: Bride, have you come here to join with this man?

Bride: I have.

Priestess: Do any say nay? (pause) Then present each other with a token of your
love. (Priestess gives us the rings from the altar.)

[We wrote the following vows ourselves, part individually and part together.]

Bride: From the first time we talked, there was something at once familiar and 
mysterious about you. I am inspired by your vitality, your passion for life, the 
light in your eyes. I have never met anyone so full of possibilities, and I 
can't tell you how excited I am by the prospect of spending our lives together. 
Your love is the sun that melts the winters into spring.

This ring is a token of my promise to be your companion, friend and lover. I 
offer it to you as I offer you this vow: I will be honest and open with you 
always; I will strive for your well-being and happiness. Whatever life presents 
to you, it presents to me also. Groom, will you accept my pledge of love?

Groom: I will.

Bride: (puts the ring on Groom) Your soul has become part of my soul, your heart 
part of my heart, your life joined with mine.

Groom: A prophet once spoke of love as both joy and sorrow, growth and pruning. 
He said that if in fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure 
then it's best you pass out of loves' threshing floor into a seasonless world 
where you shall laugh but not with all your laughter, and you shall weep, but 
not with all your tears. Bride over the last year and a half I've learned more 
about love than I ever thought there was to know. We've been through and 
experienced love's joy and love's sorrow. Now I know how good love can be, and I 
know that when times are bad we can work through them.

This ring is a token of my promise to be your companion, friend and lover. I 
offer it to you as I offer you this vow: I will be honest and open with you 
always; I will strive for your well-being and happiness. Whatever life presents 
to you, it presents to me also. Bride, will you accept my pledge of love?

Bride: I will.

Groom: (puts the ring on Bride) Your soul has become part of my soul, your heart
part of my heart, your life joined with mine.

(The four attendants that stood with Groom and Bride each carried an elemental
symbol; each in turn presented their symbol and placed them on the altar.)

Earth: This pentacle is the symbol of earth: the element of endurance, of the 
understanding that cannot be shaken. By this pentacle of earth, we bring to your 
marriage the power of steadfast commitment.

Air: This athame is the symbol of air: the element of freedom, of the intellect, 
of the inspiration that moves us all onward. By this athame of air, we bring to 
your marriage the power of intelligent choices.

Water: This chalice is the symbol of water: the element of love, of growth, of  
the sharing of emotion. By this chalice of water, we bring to your marriage the 
power of desire and respect.

Fire: This wand is the symbol of fire: the element of light, of energy, of the 
vitality that runs through your veins. By this wand, we bring to your marriage 
the power of passionate energy.

Priestess: (binds our hands together with a cord we made by braiding five 
different ribbons together) You have pledged to each other a year of union, ever 
renewable, season after season. Even when parted in body or mind, there is a 
call in the core of each of you that no one else can answer. With these vows and 
blessings, you may trust one another, trust life and not be afraid.

(unties our hands)
To mark the first moment of this marriage, I ask you to jump over the broom. (My 
friend who presented earth held the broom maybe a foot of the ground, we got a 
running start and jumped the broom.)

Then as the Blessed Goddess and Laughing God, the elements, and all the Gods of 
Old are witnesses to this rite, we now declare you married! You may kiss each 
other. (we kiss)

(The elements and God and Goddess are devoked, and the circle quickly opened. 
Much merriment, eating, and drinking ensued.)

We wrote some of this ourselves, took much from various sources, changed lots 
around and rewrote a lot of it. I can't list the sources we took different parts 
from because I can't really remember what we got from where. Feel free to use 
and change this ceremony as you wish.